


Triple Date

by theWickedWitchofFeels



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Captain Swan - Freeform, Dragon Queen - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Hehehe, Sea Devil - Freeform, Swan Queen - Freeform, crack!fic, me having too much fun, weird mash up of ships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-06
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-04-07 23:12:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4281630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theWickedWitchofFeels/pseuds/theWickedWitchofFeels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>weird crack!ish one-shot of Sea Devil, Dragon Queen, Captain Swan, and, of course, Swan Queen</p><p>written from the prompt: </p><p>Sea Devil!!! I would like a prompt where Cru and Urs double date with Mal/Regina (whose likes to be an ass to Sea Devil) bringing Hook/Emma along with her!!</p><p>Well, to be fair, they never said it had to *stay* CS.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Triple Date

“Uh, darling, how much longer for those drinks?” Cruella asked lightly of the bartender. Ursula rolled her eyes and nudged her girlfriend’s side reproachfully. 

“I see your near death experience did not quell your impatience in the slightest,” Regina noted dryly.

Emma slipped Ursula a longing glance. Ursula narrowed her eyes and glanced meaningfully at the blonde’s date, that roguish pirate Captain Hook. They may have mended their differences, somewhat, but Ursula was still well wary of the pirate. From the looks of things, Emma was getting there as well. 

They were on something of a triple date to the local pub by the docks: Ursula with Cruella, Emma with Hook and a somewhat hungover looking Maleficent with Regina. Truthfully it had only supposed to have been a double date with the two female-on-female couple, but somehow that damned pirate had got wind of it and decided it was a good idea to drag himself and Emma along. Ursula suspected Gold; the pawnbroker had been pissed at her ever since she’d defected from his cause.

The bartender finally returned and passed the couples their drinks. Ursula knocked hers back with more than a little relief. Beyond Emma, she noticed Regina eying the back of the blonde’s head enviously. She narrowed her eyes as a plan for some mischief formed in her mind. 

Cru, up for some fun? she texted her date surreptitiously. Cruella gave her an odd glance at the gesture, but when she saw the text her lips curled in a smile. 

Always, my dear. 

“Oh, Maleficent,” Cruella said suddenly in her high voice she only used when asking for favors, “could you be a dear and accompany me to the bathroom? I need to touch up my makeup and I can’t quite recall the technique you used for my eyeshadow.”

Maleficent exchanged a you’ve got to be fucking kidding me glance with Regina, but she followed Cruella to the bathroom. Ursula grinned. One of her tentacles slipped surreptitiously out from under her cocktail dress. 

“I thought those Charmings you held in such high regard told you to follow your heart, Emma dearest,” Ursula purred, drawing the blonde woman’s surprised attention to her and effectively shutting up the pirate.

“Ah - I am - “

“Don’t fool yourself. Even Cruella and I could sense it from the other side of the border. We didn’t even know you were there and we sensed it, that’s how strong the attraction you have to a certain somebody is.” 

Ursula chuckled and struck, winding a strong tentacle around Hook’s chest and chucking him out of the nearby window, hearing him crash into the water below with a satisfying SPLASH! Emma jumped up in shock.

“Oh, don’t worry darling, he’s conscious this time.” Ursula gently turned Emma’s head to glance at a surprised but hopeful Regina. 

When Maleficent and Cruella emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later, it was to see Regina and Emma passionately making out against the bar. Ursula rose with a satisfying smirk and stalked over to her old companions.

Maleficent eyed them wearily. “Well, I can’t say I’m surprised.” 

Ursula came up on one side. “I hear there’s a little shack down the beach. What do you say, just the three of us. Like old times.” 

Cruella linked her arm with Maleficent’s other side and the three took their leave, turning their back on a very relieved sheriff, a surprised queen and a very wet, very pissed one-handed pirate.


End file.
